Neologisms for this Day of Fools

Allocate, n: A cockney expression of greeting to one’s good friend Catherine

Colonialism, n: A condition in which a certain part of your large intestines exerts control over the rest of your bowels 

Comeuppance, n: Punishment for those who ride elevators incorrectly

Confusion, n: The process of melting two or more inmates together

Disgorge, v: To carve out a narrow ravine, and then fill it back in

Dispensation, n: The feeling you get when you suspect your writing utensil has been stolen

Encumber, v: To bestow too many pickles upon someone

Fatalism, n: The belief that it is one’s destiny to be overweight

Haggle, n: A group of ugly or evil-looking old women

Ineffable, adj: Incapable of being described by a certain 4-letter word

Profile, adj: Favoring the legalization of the arrangement of documents

Prognosticate, v: To clear one’s sinus cavities in the grossest way possible

Punish, adj: Sort of like a humorous use of a word with two or more meanings

Remember, v: To rotate the individuals of your social group

Rhinestone, n: A colorless imitation of a large, thick-skinned mammal with horns

Success, n: The desirable outcome when your Boba Tea tapioca balls become lodged in your straw

Wimple, n: The type of acne found on the skin of weak, ineffectual persons

Zealous, adj: To be suspicious of the advantages of the alphabet’s ultimate letter

Zucchini, n: A two-piece bathing suit usually worn to wild-animal parks

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