Description:
Christmas isn’t just about getting drunk on eggnog and ordering your entire Wishlist as a gift to yourself. It’s also about spending five nights in a row on a blow-up bed in your in-law’s basement, finding dried cat barf underneath your Christmas tree, and buying $2 pot holders as a last-minute Secret Santa gift for a coworker you don’t like.
What more could go wrong? Is there anything else
That I should try to remember?
Ding Dong. Oh, God, don’t tell me they’re here
On this unholy night in December?
This is NOT a book of joyful poems celebrating the holidays. This is a bunch of half-heartedly illustrated, sarcastic-as-hell poetry for semi-depressed people who would rather wax their buttholes than wrap another g*ddamned present.